It’s the end of the school year. There’s not a part of me that isn’t worn slick. It’s hard to hold a thought to be honest. Add in a transition in our district which requires my position to move to the high school next year and I’m adding stress to the exhaustion. It’s at the end of the year that teachers talk about how to keep the excitement, the enthusiasm going. I had pretty much hung that out to dry. There is so much stress and angst going around with budget constraints and job losses that it didn’t seem to me there would be any chance of finding energy for either of those things. Just putting one foot in front of the other to get through the ugliest winter weather wise in years has been a trial. Imagine my surprise when in the middle of talking about their spring break assignment, they began looking at me with wide eyes and something akin to shock. I stopped and asked what was wrong, imagining an open fly, a developing third eye, perhaps even growing horns. No, they were stunned by the “passion” with which I discussed writing even at this point in the year when all the teachers were tired. They admitted that they didn’t see that level in too many teachers, myself and a science teacher lucked into this category.
It made me think about passions. How is it that in the midst of energy lows, stress and anxiety, and even whether difficulties, passion can still prevail? I was so in the zone that day that I didn’t even see it until I saw the kids react to it. I recognized it then of course. I’d not had a negative thought all that day. The passion had taken over and my mind was unable or unwilling to go anywhere else. With this knowledge, I wonder. Is there a way I could channel my passion to keep me away from the negativity of my situation, of my work, of my world, of my society? Of course, I’m too tired to spend much time thinking of that so it’ll have to wait…for the next time the passion takes over.